Journal Entry #5: I Failed Finding Friends
Okay, okay so I've fallen off of my inspiration wagon... but that's what this journal is about right, picking yourself up when you've fallen. So, here goes Journal Entry #5, I'm still blown away by the exposure I've already received from my previous journals and the connections I've been able to form because of it so THANK YOU. If you want to be featured in an entry please reach out! 💜
I always claimed that I was one of those girls that just DIDN'T get along with other girls. I spent most of my childhood surrounded by guys as my friends, they just seemed easier (turns out that's very much not true). Aside from claiming to not get along with girls, I also moved around quite a lot as a kid, I was scared to connect with people, because I knew our time together was only temporary. Every time I found a girl as a friend, it felt as though something dramatic would come up and it would end in heartbreak or betrayal, either that, or we'd just fade apart.
Looking back as a 25 year old, I am envious of people who have friends in their life that have been there from the start. They have developed a connection with another human being that is so supportive and moving, they've watched each other grow up.
Now don't get me wrong, I am and was an outgoing person who is more than capable of walking up to people and introducing myself, that wasn't the issue. The issue, was my fear of losing those I love would get in the way EVERY. DAMN. TIME. I convinced myself between the ages of 12-16 that it was easier to NOT develop meaningful relationships with the women around me because chances are we'd move away from each other or one of us would find a partner and that would be it. We wouldn't need each other anymore. Boy was I ever wrong.
I now realize that I NEED that deep connection with the women around me, they bring a different type of love that I was missing. They've taught me to accept myself for who I am, build my confidence, and given me unconditional love in my time of need. They ALSO have brought light and life into my world. (I've never belly-laughed harder than I have with some of the women I know.)
So, a letter to any young women who are struggling to find this support group:
I know you feel alone. Whether you have a partner in your life right now or not, I know that there are parts of you that your partner cannot fulfill. That part is the powerful presence of unity with other women.
You may feel as though you "don't get along with other girls" or that "girls are too dramatic" and I want you to GET THAT OUT OF YOUR HEAD. Those are excuses, those are hidden fears that you will get hurt by these women. And yes, maybe some time in your life, a woman may hurt you, but those women are NOT your sisters. I promise you, your sisters will support you, they will motivate you, they will bring you pure joy and be there for you through difficult times in your life. And yes, you may fight, as you do in any relationship, you will need to put in effort. You will need to be there for them when they need you, this is not a one way street.
The power of sisterhood is moving. It's a breath of fresh air, and it is something that you deserve to experience. Now get out there, and find your soul-sisters!!
To the women that have been in my life at whichever stage, whether we are still connected or not, I love you, I think of you, and I hope that you are truly happy. If not, I am here for you.